How to Water your Grass

12 Aug

GoCoachYourself

Grass Is Greener Syndrome

Why do we struggle to blossom where we are planted? Why do we want to jump ship believing the ‘if, then’ theory to happiness. If I move to another town, then I will be happy. If I buy a new car, then I will be happy. If we join a gym and lose weight then we will be happy. If I get into a long term relationship then I will be happy. If we save up and buy a house then we will be happy. If my children make it to adulthood then I will be happy.

We fantasise, and that is all it is - a fantasy, about this perfect life we could/should/would be living, if only we didn’t have this shitty relationship to deal with, if only we had a soul-satisfying job, if only we enjoyed where we live.

We need to accept this as fantasy.

It is irrational.

I could now introduce tools for gratitude, mindfulness and meditation but what you really need to do is process this internal fear of never having your ‘perfect life’. Because you never will; when you move into that nicer, bigger house, you will find something that oppresses you, that bores you, that locks you into commitment, and eventually you will be house hunting again.

Feel the fear in your body, where it resides. See it for what it is - an energy cursing through your physical being.

Find the belief holding you back.

I am not enough.

I never get things right.

I don’t deserve my desired life.

This is karma for all the shit I did when I was younger.

Then, sob into it. Cry, yell, punch into it.

Let it flow out of you.

Then be still.

And create a new belief.

I am enough for where I am now.

I do get things right, I have created this here and now.