allow space for raw emotion - july2024
GoCoachYourself - empowering you to know you.
“Raw emotions will find you. When it does, how you deal with it, what you do will define who you are”
Finch, 2021
Recently, I encountered a terrifying incident while hiking in the mountains. Myself and two companions were ill prepared in experience, and found ourselves attempting a steep climb up an icy crater. We could not go back, we had to keep going. I slipped several times and then suddenly, I was frozen as my boots slowly gave way. The moment was intense, and all I could think was "do or die", repeatedly. I couldn’t talk, only cry.
Even now, my heartbeat quickens when I recall the event. Amazingly, two men came to my rescue, guiding me to safety. Later I found out two people had fallen to their deaths in that same spot in the last 12 months. For the next 24 hours, I felt a mix of shock, disbelief, disappointment, and shame.
On the final day, facing a five-hour hike, I chose to walk alone, knowing I needed space to process these heavy emotions.
During the solitary walk, I deliberately revisited the fearful moments on the icy cliff, allowing myself to sob and release the tension built up over the past days. This emotional release happened three times over two hours, with no holding back or shame, just raw emotion.
Upon returning home, I confided in a friend, recounting every emotion-laden detail; gratefulness for the father-son duo who saved me, anger and blame for our inexperienced group, shock and disbelief in myself. She listened attentively, acknowledging each emotion, and advised me to allow these feelings to surface in the coming weeks.
Reflecting on the experience, I realised my missteps: I didn't research adequately, neglected my intuition, and wasn't as prepared as necessary for hiking in the NZ mountains. I failed to stay attuned to myself, relying on others over trusting my instincts—a departure from my core value of empowerment.
There is no shame in feeling shame, no remorse in experiencing disappointment, and no harm in feeling anger or blame, unless you keep them bottled up and they are redirected or projected onto your loved ones. These emotions belong to you; take the time to process them. Consider what value is absent and what is required to progress..